Kabira Speaking…

 

I know how it looks that I am posting a list of Bollywood movie dialogs after posting a huge list of TV shows I watch. Then again, I need to write something on this blog, if only to let people know that there is someone still at home. So, thanks Rayshma for pushing the lazy me to take up this tag. I needed something to kick-start the writing part of my brain after that wonderfully relaxing, 3 weeks long India trip (had to put that in somewhere to gloat).

The rules.

1. On your blog, provide a link to this page. (http://greatbong.net/book).
2. Then write down your top 10 Hindi movie lines or top 10 English movie lines (You can do both if you want. Only one set is required for the contest). If you cannot think of top 10, make it top 5. Cannot think of even 5? Make it top 3. No problem. Only restriction: no two lines from same movie. This done to make it fair for other movies so that they dont get swamped by Gunda or Loha or Sholay.
3. Tag five friends to do the same.
4. Come over to the comment-space of this post and post your blog’s link so I can go and read it.

And here’s my list:

1. Mere Karan-Arjun ayenge. – Karan Arjun (Probably the most parodied line in Bollywood history)
2. Adami teen, aur goli chhe, bahut na insaafi hai. – Sholay (or maybe, it’s this one, not #2)
3. Mere paas… maa hai. – Deewar (This line is also in the competition, folks)
4. Rishte mein to hum tumhare baap lagte hain, naam hai Shehenshah. – Shehenshah(OK, the competition is getting tougher now).
5. Pura naam, Vijay Dinanath Chauhan, baap ka naam, Dinanath Chauhan, Maa ka naam, Suhasini Chauhan, Gaon Mandwa. Umar Chatiis saal, .... – Agneepath (One more candidate? Count how many of these movies had Big B in it.)

OK, this is turning into a parody baits list. So here are 5 more, more plain lines:

1. Shant gadadhari bheem, shant. – Jaane bhi do yaaro
2. Ye jo chhe foot ka ek adami hain na, katkar teen-teen foot ke do bana doonga. – Munnabhai M.B.B.S.
3. Tere kutte ke tukde-tukde karke teri poti ko khila denge. – Hera pheri
4. Khandani chor hoon. Aya hoon, kuch to leke jaoonga – Andaz apna apna (Crime Master Gogo ke karname…)
5. Are usne teri khuddari ko lalkara hai, yaar. Kya kar raha hai. Mard ban, be a man. – Dil chahta hai (Get ready to try this on your engaged/married friends this 14th Feb.)

Umm, anybody can pick it up, check out the link in rule #1 for the incentive.

- The Great Eagle Has Spoken

30 Second Summaries - Bonus Edition

a.k.a. “I am feeling too lazy to write anything else” edition

 

In today's busy world, the attention spans are getting shorter and shorter. In the world of information superhighways and consequent information overloads, people don't have time to read long pages and pages of reviews of the movies they want to watch (or sometimes, even to see the actual movies), when they can just as well spend that time doing something else.

That’s why, just reading this post (investment of around 5 minutes + 1 minute for commenting) makes sure you can talk about movies which have a total viewing period of about 8-10 hours. Plus, there’s a bonus thought per movie, which makes you sound even more “deep and thoughtful” in any conversation.

So, what are you waiting for?

Dil Bole Hadippa:

Happenings in a supposedly friendly match: sledging, deliberate obstruction leading to injury, gender fraud, (which also means) identity fraud. And to top it all off, unless I am much mistaken, there’s a passport/visa fraud in there, too.

I guess it’s true Cricket is no longer the Gentleman’s Game.

Bonus thought: This, plus “Rab ne bana di jodi” means, in YRF universe, the superheroes would never need a mask, since nobody would recognise them anyways when they change into their “costume”. (And people think Lois Lane is blind)

 

Wanted:

“Wanted” has an assassin as its main character. Unfortunately, he cannot (as far as we know) curve any bullets. Which is surprising given how laws of Physics normally work in Bollywood masala.

Bonus thought: What do you think Shreyas Talpade is more embarrassed about: “Bombay To Bangkok” or sharing name with Mahesh Manjrekar’s character in this movie?

What’s your rashee?:

For the guys: Irrespective of your (and her) rashee, you will finally end up with Priyanka Chopra.

For the girls: Depending on your rashee, you may finally end up with Herman Baweja.

Bonus thought: Multiple (unrelated) characters with same face? Does this film belong in YRF universe? (see “Dil Bole…” above for details)

 

- The Great Eagle Has Spoken

 

P.S. Some other 30 second summaries: Aug ’09, May ’09 and Dec ’08.

30 Second Summaries – Mixed Edition

Once again, we bring you the bestest and latest news in the entertainment world. And like all good things, except chocolates and ice cream, our summaries come in small, (non-digital) bite-sized packets.

You know, for those times when everybody in the group is talking about the movie you have just heard of, and you have to come up with a comment quickly before “somebody” thinks you are so ignorant. So whip out that now-old-news iPhone and…

…dive into this August (as in month, not the other meaning) Edition of 30-second Summaries:

Love Aaj Kal:

They say the dhai akshar prem ke of yore have today been replaced by 2 syllables of “Love” (kinda like how we replaced long movie reviews with 30 second summaries here, I guess).

They also say Saif Ali Khan looks like young Hrishi Kapoor from certain (camera) angles.

Agyaat:

For completely agyaat reasons,

1. film crews continue to go into creepy forests with no means of quick escape.
2. and against all reasonable laws of jungle, young females continue to go into deep forest quite alone, often wearing nothing more than bikinis or shorts.
3. ditto for men, although, praise the gods, they do it dressed more sensibly in most cases.
4. RGV continues to use loud background music in places where silence would have served a whole lot better.

G. I. Joe:

Seriously? You want the story of G. I. Joe movie? So be it. A young man finds himself torn between his duty to his country and his lost love, the tragic love story painted on the canvas of today’s world full of hate and violence, betrayal and greed.

All right, here’s the straight and narrow: G. I. Joe foils the plans for world domination by the ruthlesss terrorist organization Cobra, led by Cobra Commander, who is supported by Destro and his M.A.R.S. Industries. <EOS> Yo, Joe!

Now go forth and be knowledgeable, my friend. Then come back when you have time and tell us in comments how you fared.

- The Great Eagle Has Spoken

P.S. And when you have time, you may want to check out the old editions: May ’09 and Dec ’08.

Harry Potter in Technicolor, With Dolby Surround Sound

With “Harry Potter and Half-Blood Prince” coming up, I am reading up on my HP lore, as I am wont to do. And as my history with fantasy series probably warns you, I started thinking how Harry Potter series is another example of how Bollywood Masala genre is much more pervasive than we give it credit for.

“How?” you ask? (OK, I asked the question for you this time. Next time around though…) The series has:

• Crazy villain, his lair, and dressed henchmen: Hey, Lord Voldermort’s got noseless face with slit eyes. His Death Eaters dress in long black robes, cover their faces with masks, and have got snake tattoos on their forearms. Can it get more masala villainish than this? (OK, it can, see below).

  Plus, I know Malfoy Manor appeared late in series, but it has live peacocks and dungeons. What more do you want in a lair?

• Comic sideplot: I dare you, show me any comedy team who can beat The Weasleys, Fred and George. And then you get other Weasley brothers throwing in their two bits (Ron, anyone?), and we can make it a family business.

• College romances: Hero’s bumbling friend falls in love with his nerdy friend. If hero’s friend has a sister and she lives till the end unmolested by the villain, the hero is bound to end up with her. Hero falls for the college beauty queen, only to realize he truly belongs with the girl next door. Have I forgotten any Masala stereotypes?

  OK, so it is more school romance than college one. But then, a. western kids and/or b. today’s kids age quicker and have girlefriends/boyfriends in school.

  Oh yeah, a moon-earth-sun kinda situation, but it is more due to magic gone wrong than intentional, so I won’t count it.

• Parental sacrifices: You can actually watch HP dubbed in Hindi, with both Harry’s parents going “Nahin, mere bete ko mat maro”, without feeling that you are watching something foreign.

But still, something is missing from this story to make it a full-fledged Bolly-masala flick.

• Lost twin brother: Any good masala film has to have a lost twin.

  Here’s how it would play out: When Lord Voldemort tried to kill Harry, his twin brother Larry (is there any other name rhyming with Harry?) was picked up by some Death Eaters. They raised him as their own, put him in Durmstrang, and raised him on the pureblood supremacy doctrine. They also named him Ambrosius or something like that, which probably didn’t help him any more than his original name.

  Years later, he came across Harry while fighting with the Death Eaters. They recognized each other by the identical scars on opposite sides of their faces. Larry then sacrifices his life in place of Harry.

  Unless he has a “good” girlfriend, in which case, he is redeemed by fighting for the good side.

• “Love” sacrifices: OK, Ginny is Ron’s sister, and The Hero does not sacrifice his love for his sidekick (not at the end, at least). So, we can have Ron and Harry fall in love with Cho Chang (or how about Fleur, if it must come to that), before realizing who their (respective) actual love is.

• Item numbers (“Weasley is our king” does not count). Malfoy Manor has rotating tortured prisoners, but no dancing vamps.

Now let me scrubs the images of Bellatrix and Narcissa dancing from my head. But till then, have I missed anything?

 

- The Great Eagle Has Spoken

30 Second Summaries – Hollywood Edition

In today's busy world, the attention spans are getting shorter and shorter. In the world of information superhighways and consequent information overloads, people don't have time to read long pages and pages of reviews of the movies they want to watch, when they can just as well spend that time doing something else.

Now, thanks to The Aerie Institute, you don’t have to worry about losing the thread of the post you were reading just because your boss popped in for a “discussion”. Or you don’t have to choose between a long (but interesting) movie review and that floor-mate you want to talk to so much, who just walked over to the coffee machine.

Presenting 30 Second Summaries – Hollywood (Prequels) Edition:

X-Men Origins: Wolverine:

A tale of sibling rivalry: one has slight personal hygiene issues, other needs to visit his orthopaedist pronto.

And when is The Government going to realise that in any black-ops team, one is going to go rogue (no, not that Rogue), one (mostly rogue’s closest friend/brother) is going to go on “straight and narrow”, and the others are going to get killed, before the good prevails over the evil.

Star Trek:

Going boldly where no sci-fi film has gone before: 2 Spocks.

 

 

 

Angels and Demons: (full review here)

On his first visit to Vatican’s Secret Archives, Prof. Robert Langdon tears up a book. On the second visit, he damages (and possibly destroys) a lot more books. To keep something for his third visit (and probably out of professional jealousy), he helps the Church stop a secret society from destroying Vatican.

Oh, and (Spoiler Alert): The Butler did it.

Coming up:

Terminator: Salvation:

Holy cyborg, Batman!

Spolier Alert: Since the terminators now look (and act) completely human, here’s a tip how you can catch one. Grab a digital photo of the suspect with flash on. If his eyes turn red in the photograph, run and/or kill him.

 

 

Till next time… go on, she is still stirring some sugar in her coffee.

- The Great Eagle Has Spoken

 

P.S. Previously on 30-second summaries: Bollywood Edition.

I want to go to there

So, it seems everybody and their uncle (*ahem* that’s my attempt to convey how old the series is) is watching “Star Trek” now. And although, I will watch the movie sometime in near future, I have my eyes fixed on this year’s treats:

First up:

Angels and Demons

In my honest opinion, this book is much better than much-hyped “Da Vinci Code”. Same genre though.

Update: I went, I saw, I reviewed. You comment.

Then, 2 months later is,

Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince

The series starts getting darker from the mid-fourth book, and the 6th instalment brings on many clues, adventures, not to mention romance and kisses. Will be worth waiting for, if OotP was any indication:

Update: Saw midnight show. Posted here.

Then comes,

G. I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

Who hasn’t played with the “toy that protects U.S. oil interests overseas” (not my words) in their childhood? Who doesn’t know about Arashikage Ninja clan? And those costumes are just… wow. (thank god they got rid of those thick black frames of The Baroness).

And what’s up the new Doctor reincarnations and need to play bad characters?

BTW, IDW has restarted the G. I. Joe comics with new storyline (probably similar to the movie), with Joe Origins and Cobra Origins sidelines. And speaking as a fanboy, I must say: go get them.

And then comes the long wait for the movie I am not entirely sure about:

Sherlock Holmes

It sure has a great line-up. The story (or at least the characters) seems to be related to “The Sign of Four”, which has much more live action than most other novels/short stories.

Then again, it is just now that I am coming out of canonical Holmes, and into pastiche territory, so I am still a bit dubious about many “derivations”. The 1968 TV series was good, but the departures from the original story still rankled a bit.

Why can’t they just go ahead and put up a trailer (or two) already? (Thanks Vedang) Christmas is a long way away, you know…

-The Great Eagle Has Spoken

30 Second Summaries

In today's busy world, the attention spans are getting shorter and shorter. In the world of information superhighways and consequent information overloads, people don't have time to read long pages and pages of reviews of the movies they want to watch, when they can just as well spend that time doing something else.

That's why we at The Aerie Institute, constantly aware of the needs of the times, are bringing you Part 1 of our bestselling series:

30 Second Summaries (Bollywood Edition):

That's the Rab:

After making enough actors weary by stealing (or trying to) others' girlfriends and fiancées (and wives) on screen, Shahrukh Khan has to steal the wife from his own older self. Old habits...

 

 

Con-fiction:

After Jai Jr. tried his hand at the conning game, and got caught and conned in return, it is time for Veeru's nephew to pick up the mantle. Should I have put up a spoiler alert there?

 

 

God ~ Jim:

... [when] I want to screw with him to get back at him, he never sees it coming. But now, I want to be nice to him and actually give him something, he's like an eel. I just can't grab onto him.

- Jim Halpert, The Office.

 

 

Part 2 will be up soon, based on the response. So, keep commenting.

 

- The Great Eagle Has Spoken

 

Previously by Aerie Institute: Non-veg and Attack on Community, FNS or Fanatic about Non-issue Syndrome, The New Updated Spamming-101, A Single Guy's Guide to Dating

Lord of The Rings is just another hindi movie

Just a few days back, I was talking to a friend who was ranting about the hindi movies, and the completely over the top masala ingredients added in them to spice them up. After defending the Bollywood for a long time (hey, we Indians may make fun of those movies but we are One when some outsider does it), I went back to my recent re-reading of Lord of The Rings.

And I had an epiphany. Here are

10 Reasons why LoTR is just another Bollywood Masala film:

10. If you are a good guy and a father, you get to die at the hands of The Villain or his Henchmen. Which of course will inspire your kid(s) and others to vanquish the villain for revenge.

9. Things are going very badly for the good guys, when BAM! Help arrives in the form of the Hero.

8. The hero has a bumbling but faithful sidekick (or a group of them), who provides the comic sidetrack, but will lay down his life for the hero.

7. There's a costumed villain, sitting in his snazzy lair, surrounded by costumed henchmen and weird looking followers.

6. The "supporting actress" loves the hero, who cannot return her affections because he is in love with the heroine. But don't worry, she will find her life partner in the "supporting actor" before the climax.

5. The hero and heroine belong to different social groups, and hence her father is not exactly happy about their union, but there is a loving aunt who will help the lovers.

4. The heroine, the one belonging to higher social group in this case, will "sacrifice" her advantages in order to marry the hero.

3. The hero has greedy, conniving, thieving relatives who have their eye on his estate.

2. You can stab him, fire arrows at him, slash at him with swords, poison him... The Hero just goes on and on and on...

1. At moment's notice, there's at least one person who has got to sing up. Sometimes that quickly grows into a group song.

 

- The Great Eagle Has Spoken

 

P.S. The comparison is based solely on the books, and those misguided souls who know LoTR as only a movie trilogy may be confused. Solution: read the book.

Jodha-Akbar

No, this is not a review of the film. I haven't yet seen the movie (nor any trailers), and I am not sure when I will watch it, since I don't know any place nearby where the movie is screened. These are just some random thoughts connected to the movie.


This movie will probably create a new famous Indian historical "pair", but that comes at the cost of another famous jodi. Where is the witty Birbal in the story? While Akbar has featured in not a few movies, Birbal has been ignored by Bollywood (even his so-called competitor Tansen got his own movie). Watching Akbar without a mention of Birbal is like watching Hardy with one of his on-screen crushes/fiance/wife. He may be is funny on his own, but he is not the Ollie we know and like without Stan goofing up things with him.

And Bollywood broke the famous Akbar-Birbal pair by matching him up with a fictional character. A character, who (as probably all know by now) was possibly his daughter-in-law, one of the wives of Jahangir. But that does not surprise me as much as it should. After all, Jahangir (when he was known as Salim) was paired off with another fictional character, in perhaps the most famous historical in Hindi film history.

Incidentally, Jeahangir and his son Shah Jahan defy the saying about art and life. Shah Jahan is famous worldwide for his Taj Mahal, Jahangir not so much. But on the other hand, almost all Bollywood lovers have heard of Mughal-e-Azam, while I doubt anybody remembers the fate of Taj Mahal.

And does this (third in the line) movie denote the start of a trend to convert the lives of Mughal emperors into film media? Akbar, his son and grandson are already covered. It would be hard to find any romance in the life of his great-grandson though. Although the marathi novel "Shehenshah" by N. S. Inamdar is a great one, everybody would agree that the last important Mughal Emperor Aurangzeb was definitely not a romantic.

So let's go up the family tree, shall we? I am sure as the exile, Humayun would definitely provide much fodder to the creative imaginations of the Bollywood. Don't tell me you can't put a romance or two in the life of the person who spent most of his life as a refugee.

So, here's to Humayun, or rather, Jodha-Akbar, till somebody have go at the idea. Ashutosh, Sanjay, Shekhar, call me and we will discuss my fees.

- The Great Eagle Has Spoken

And You Said The Directors Are Not Helpful

Right now, the net is abuzz with movie critics thanking Himmesh Reshmmia for reducing their work by adding the review to the title of his latest movie, "Karzzz¹" (comic fans would recognize the ubiquitous “sound” at the end). It seems he has continued the tradition he started when he added "eee" (and not "oo" as odds suggested) to his first movie title, "Aap ka Surroor - The Moviee".

But before you all The Nose fans go around saying that He Who Sings Through Raised Mike has done something new and impressive (and I am not referring to the Decapped look), think again. Why do you think so many movie critics feel so “grateful” (read "beholden") to so many directors?

Don't agree with me? Let me give you a brief glimpse of my upcoming thesis on the topic:

• Oops! - Can you think of a better reaction you might have after watching this movie? Indeed, there's a rumour this was what the director said when he saw the final cut.


• Home delivery – This is one movie which people would only watch if they get it delivered right at home. Preferably free on cable.


• Men Not Allowed – The director thought that he would cash in on the rebellious nature so ingrained in all the viewers. After all, how many times do you remember doing something your parents expressly forbid you to do? The problem was, people took the title a bit too literally.


• Darna Mana Hai², and Darna Zaroori Hai ³ – Ram Gopal Varma also found out the tendency of people to take the title literally after his first movie of the series. After much thought (the astute director that he is), he decided to take advantage of the fact. Unfortunately, that came out as a request (or a plea) at best, and at worst, many wondered whether he had left out a question mark at the end.


• Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna⁴ – Once again, a humble director requested a favour from his viewers. This time round, they listened, albeit very few were happy about it.


• Phir Milenge ⁴ – This was the case when a good movie was burdened with unfortunate title. From what I have heard (I missed watching this movie), the viewers said the same to the director.

Some directors, not content with giving meaningful title (or forced to give different title than they intended), help critics by adding bylines to the actual title.

• Daag - The Fire – Perhaps the best example of my whole point in this thesis. Although just the title”daag” would have sufficed, there's an additional layer of meaning added with “The Fire”. Now, it's a long-standing question whether that referred to the hot Mahima (as perhaps the director intended) or to the feeling viewers got after watching the movie (refer “Ram Gopal Varma ki Aag” for more discussion on this topic).


• Meenaxi - The Tale of 3 Cities – Controversies (and maybe some acting) apart, the byline tells us how many places the movie was shown, almost to the last digit.

Now, lest you think that only bad/failed movies do this thing, here are two examples to the contrary from across the ages.

• Chalti ka Naam Gaadi ⁶ – I am not sure exactly what happened when the movie was originally released, but from all accounts ye film achhi chali.


• Dil Chahta Hai ⁷ – There's a rare man who came out of the hall not saying that same thing about the movie.

The complete thesis will be up shortly. Got any films which you want to add to the list?

- The Great Eagle Has Spoken

Glossary (most of the meaning are literal):
1. Karz : a loan. Karzzz: a sub-prime loan?
2. Darna mana hai: "(You're) not allowed to be afraid". (darna = to be afraid, mana = not allowed)
3. Darna zaroori hai: "(You) Must get frightened". Consensus is that the title refers to the storyline(s) of the movie, and not the production values of the movie itself. (zaroori = necessary)
4. Kabhi alvida na kehna : "Don't ever say goodbye". (kabhi = ever, alvida = goodbye, na = don't, kehna = say)
5. Phir Milenge : "(we'll) meet again", used as "see you later". (phir = again, milenge = we'll meet)
6. Chalti ka naam gaadi - "that which moves is called car". (naam = name, gaadi = car, chalti = the form of verb "chalna" meaning to move/to walk. "movie chali" also means that "the movie worked at the box office")
7. Dil chahta hai = the heart wants.

Khaandan ki dastaan

All characters in this post are completely filmy, and bear full resemblance to reel life.

When Amrita recently took a look at the female characters in Bollywood films, and decided that she is better off being a hero, that got me thinking. I mean, even leaving aside monetary point of view of being the hero, you are not so better off being any other male character either.

Why, you ask? Here's why.

1. Hero's dad/heroin's dad: Taken in general, the only difference between these two characters is whether his Y chromosome was passed on to a significant character in the film. Otherwise, you can just club these two together and nobody will notice a difference.
   
   If the family is poor, he is either handicapped, or retired/pink-slipped (if the director is particularly sadistic, he had to retire when he had an accident). The only acceptable professions for this character are teacher, policeman or mill worker. If the family is rich, he is a businessman and a villain, if not in traditional sense, then as The One who keeps postponing the "happily-ever-after".
   
   If for a change, the character is rich and good, then his whole purpose in life is to sing a song about how his family is the best in the world, and to smile when he is not crying about the same.
   
   Perhaps the biggest telling point about this character is that, if budget is an issue, the role can easily be fulfilled by a poster/photograph of the actor rather than the actor himself.(If the actor is really showing his age, replace father with grandfather in above paragraphs.)


2. Bade bhaiyya (Big Brother): The only point in favour of this character is that he is not yet old enough to be casted in the abovem. role. Otherwise, he essentially performs all the duties of the father.
   
   He is not much better off on domestic front either. His wife keeps insisting on forgiving all the mistakes his spoiled little brother (hero) or sister (heroine) makes. Not happy with the (heart disease and other stress-related) ailments this entails, she adds diabetes to the list with her cooking. If not this sweet lady, she is a shrew who makes his life hell.
   
   Not content with this, a particularly sadistic director will insist on making him watch his wife being molested, or even killing him to "inspire" the hero to take revenge on the villain.


3. Hero's friend: Aptly called side-hero, since he is nothing more than a sideshow. Mostly casted for comic relief, the high point in his life comes when he gets to sacrifice his life for saving the lead actress's ijjat (after earlier sacrificing his love for her to make way for his friend), or for taking the bullet/arrow/swordpoint intended for the hero.
   
   The former is frustrating since his life would have been saved if the hero would have gotten off his lazy behind 5 minutes earlier, and reached the crime scene early. The later is not any better, since that one bullet wouldn't have made much difference to the whole magazine which Hero survives 2 minutes later anyway.
   
   If this guy manages to survive to the climax, he gets the girl. Well, he gets the promise to be with the friend of heroine who, more often than not, was till then hopelessly in love with the hero.


4. Villain: You know, leave out the last 5-10 minutes of the film, and villain's role starts looking lucrative. He gets to do as much (if not more) fun things as hero throughout the movie, and also doesn't have to be polite, or become "civilised" just to get the girl he likes.


5. Hero: Even if you leave out the "ka-ching" part, still this role is great. If his family is rich, he is a spoilt brat. If his family is poor, his father/big brother/bhaabhi/mother will still somehow manage to spoil him rotten. He gets to eat all the good things in life (even if the other members of the family are starving), and turns "good" just in time to get the girl of his dreams.
   
   Not forgetting the fact that the shlok in Geeta about "not harmed by any weapons, not burned by fire" was written for this fellow.

Well, the short summary of all this analysis is "be the hero, be a bystander, but never ever be anybody close to the hero".

So, which character would you like to play? Is there anybody I have missed?

- The Great Eagle Has Spoken

Status Report

I'm back. After a long time... So, I guess a review of what happened in last 1 month, and what is going to happen in next some months is in order.

• Exams are over. So, I finished my first year in Graduate school. That's all I have to say on this subject.


• Watched some good old movies. “Dil Chahta Hai”, “Tere Mere Sapne” and now watching “Saathiya”. (Thanks Lily) Some movies are never forgotten, because of the memories associated with them. Thanks to Citibank and my roomie, can watch “Rang De Basanti” whenever I want.


• Watched “And then there were none”, on Agatha Christie novel. The only gripe, they changed the end. And I thought only Hindi movies had to have the hero and heroin walking into sunset at the end.


• Watched “Darna Zaroori Hai”. Not a fiasco as the first Darna movie, some of the stories are pretty well executed. Most of the twists are predictably predictable, but then any hindi moviegoer worth his salt should be able to predict any hindi movie story (even if it is a thriller). Acting is above (expected) par in many cases, even Reitesh (is that the spelling now?) Deshmukh. Only gripe, why did the morning have to come in the end? The movie was 2 minutes too long for me. And still, I haven't found a director who uses silence as well as background music.


• Watched “Private Life of Sherlock Holmes”. If I didn't know it was kind of parody, I would have picketed the director's house (not sure he is alive yet, still). Holmes was engaged to get married? What next, he was married and his wife died??? And I thought Mycroft was supposed to be quite healthy, if not completely round. But the dialogues are too funny sometimes, and I can forgive the director because he hasn't changed the core of The Great Consulting Detective much. Of course, the references to Irene Adler are too obvious.


• Watched “Dial M for Murder”. Typical Hitchcock.


• Watched "Iqbal" after a long time. Great movie. Tried to watch "3 deewarein", got till the second last chapter and the DVD started playing wierdo. Still to watch the climax.


• Missing a great road trip with my friends here, because I have to finish some work here. They are out for a week, and I have only my laptop and movies to pass the time.


• Trying to finish “Sands of Time” with my friend. Can't pass one level, even when playing co-operatively. Don't know what we can do when we couldn't pass the Sand King (“uncle” in our language) with full life, and computer feeding oh-so-slowly. Maybe will try again when my roomie gets back.


• Playing “Silent Hunter III”. Finished one career from 1939 to 1945. Got “Knight's Cross with Golden Oak Leaves, Swords, and Diamonds”, but my rank was Jr. Lieutenant from start to end. Please tell me how I can get promoted. Started another career, and have advanced till “Knight's Cross with Oak Leaves and Swords”. No promotion yet again.


• Read "V for Vendetta" full 10 comics. Worth reading, and if the movie sticks to the story (except maybe a 16yr old first time pros), I am looking (even more) forward to watching it.

All in all, watched a lot of movies, and played a lot of PC games. Enjoying life as it comes...

• Last but not the least, going to India on 14th. Will be there for the longest time (without any work) since, let me see, 9th std. From the mails, offliners, scraps, phone calls et al (I love this word) I have got till now, the expectations about me are:
  
  
  
  • I am going to talk with an American accent, and like, start conversations with 'sup dude. (Me, and American accent? That's like, impossible man.)
  
  
  • Call taxi cab, and ask for cheque in restaurants. (Fat chance of a taxi in Pune)
  
  
  • Start walking and driving on the wrong side of the road (the most probable one, so I am not driving. I am asking my friends to chauffeur for me)
  
  
  • Start drinking mineral water only. (Fat chance since I am drinking tap water here, which we use to wash the dishes and all that)
  
  
  • And the finest one: Getting down from the plane, I am going to walk to my mother and tell her, “Yeh hai teri noo, teri bahu. Iska naam hoyega Sue. Khas London se pakad ke laya hoon” (Yes, my flight is via London.)
  
  

The Great Eagle has spoken...

Quotes of The Day:

Haasil kar aaisa shikhar
Parbat ki bhi nazrein uthe
- From the song "Aashayein", Iqbal

मौसीज़ी.....

Came across an excellent joke... Thought should share with you... (Keep reading, have half a mind to enhance it...)


Jai: Mausi ladka IT field mein kaam karta hai...
Mausi: Hai raam...
Jai: Aajkal allocated bhi hai...
Mausi: To kya kabhi unallocated (i.e. bench pe) bhi rahta hai????
Jai: Ab C rating waalon ka allocation itni asaani se kahaan hota hai mausi...
Mausi: To kya C rating bhi aati hai uski????
Jai: PL se ladaai karne ke baad B ya uske upar ki rating to nahin na milti hai mausi...
Mausi: To kya ladaaku bhi hai????
Jai: Ab onsite jaane ko na mile to ho jaati hai kabhi-kabhi anban...
Mausi: To kya onsite bhi nahin gayaa aaj tak????
Jai: Ab civil engineers ka Visa itni jaldi kahaan lagta hai mausi...
Mausi: To kya ladka civil engineer hai???? Engineering kaun se college se kiya hai????
Jai: Bas uska pataa lagte hi hum aapko khabar kar denge!!!!!
Jai: To kya main rishta pakka samjhun mausi??
Mausi: Bhale hi hamaari ladki call center waale se shaadi kar le, par Software Engineer se kabhi nahin karegi.......

Hitch in the plans...

Was watching "Hitch" yesterday evening. A great movie, as promised by the reviews sent by my friends. Especially the scenes with The Client are howlarious. Being alone in the house, ROTFL was a very good (and only) way to complement the movie. The kissing scene between The Consultant and The Client almost made me injure myself while laughing uncontrollably. (Note to Self: Movies like this wreck havoc with your pneumatic systems, when you have a bad cough).

The "Pizza dance" reminded me of many of my friends.(Note to Self: ask the friends to watch this scene to avoid the torture to watch their Pizza, Dosa and other dances).

All in all a great movie... Was anticipating a great last half hour, when...

Mother Nature Invades. Lights flicker and finally die down. Rain and Storm visit the lonely bylanes of Mysore. Thus starts a very eventful night.

So I am left with no other option but to wait in the dark, with the distant hope that the Gods of Electricity Board will smile on me...

Now, I live with three other people... Mr. Charlie (name derived from the movie Charlie's Angels, for obvious reasons), Mr. Philosopher (again for obvious reasons), and a workaholic called Mr. Juice (reason not so obvious, will narrate the story behind this nomenclature later). Charlie comes in just before the storms and immediately sticks to his mobile. Philosopher is out with his future bride... and comes in late... bringing with him half the water in KRS dam. Seems he has ridden the bike through the rain when we are afraid (or more truthfully, too lazy) to go to terrace to pick up the clothes.

We are looking for another candle in the wind... sorry, in our house when some weird laugh fills our house. Philosopher's mobile is calling his attention to a message. (Note to Self: Check why people use such ringtones... and that too for messages). Let me tell you, the sound which in broad daylight sounds outright crazy will spook you out when it comes from some hidden corner of the room in a stormy night.

After some chatting, we decide to sleep early (by our standards). I try to get some good photographs of the storm (an attack of photographeris amateurasis), and waste 15 minutes. Then I get bored and decide to have some fun with my friend. We start creating a ghost story to match the Nature's mood.

The story goes like:

Me: "It was a dark, stormy night. The only sound was raindrops on the window panes. Lightning was flashing on a lonely building."
My Friend: "Mr. X was alone in his apartment on the topmost floor of the building, supposedly haunted! And suddenly, the lights went off."
Me: "He started searching in the night for the candle."

At this point, I think all this is too good to keep on SMS, and decide to write it down. But I cannot write in the light of my mobile, and so decide to get a candle and paper to write the story down. So I go in a vain search of candle in across our house.

My friend: "Suddenly he heard something moving in the apartment. (Some daravana music in background)".

At this point of time, I hear some sounds in the house. Turns out Philosopher is not sound asleep as yet, and wants a glass of water. The phrase "Life imitating Art" sounds alarm bells in my head, and we wisely decide to postpone completing the story to some other time. (Will post the complete story in a proper form when the happy time comes. Wait for next storm, which will be today or tomorrow, if I am not mistaken about the weather). So finally, I go to sleep.

The perfect ending to the eventful night is provided by Juice. He comes home today morning, and tells us, "I came home yesterday night. Lights were off. Door was bolted from inside. So I went back to office and slept there." As if we live in Stone Age, with all mobiles switched off during night.

KKKKKKKyoon????

Just back from a great weekend watching 4 movies in 3 days!!! (Hey, that's above avarage by .3333333 for my normal weekend)...

But then, when I looked at the names (Kya kool hai hum, Kaal and Kingdom of Heaven)... hell am I being bitten by Ekta Kapoor bug or is it a simple case of coincidence?? (But if I remember my Sherlock correctly, there is nothing called coincidence)...

Or is it simply that Hollywood has joined Bollywood in imitating The Great Indian Soap Operas?????