Top 10 Must Haves in Horror Serials

Indian Television and Movie Industry has a long and glorious tradition of “horror flicks”. If Ramsay brothers frightened the populace with the horrible ghosts like “Jaani Dushman”, “Jaadu Tona”, the television audience thrived on shows like “Kile ka Rahasya" (remember this?), “Zee Horror Show”, “Aahat” and “Sshhh… Koi Hai” to name a few.

There are quite a few things which are common amongst all these media. But after watching myriad movies and TV serials, I have come to a conclusion that there are 10 things which every single horror serial episode has to have (as opposed to movies which might have all or none of them):

• Koi Nahi Bachega: In first five minutes, no human is safe.


• And... you are “it”: In next five minutes, if you hear “darawana” music and camera is sneaking onto somebody from the back, the person will be completely safe, though thoroughly terrified at suddenly getting a hand on her (it's normally *her*) shoulder.


• Jeans, bad; Punjabi Dresses, safe: The more outspoken, outgoing and modern a girl, the more the chances that she will be one of the first ones to get bumped off. By corollary, the more shy and reserved a girl, the more her chances of getting saved, by a boy, with whom she will walk in sunset (or “exit left”).


• Times, they are a-changin': The ghosts of earlier (and admittedly more traditional) era can be recognised by their white sarees and lighted candles, the ghosts have become more modern now and have a wider choice of wardrobe. More often than not, “Black” seems to be the colour of choice now-a-days.


• Ghosts like deserts (and deserted places): Rajasthan (with its palaces in desert and all) has more ghosts than all other states combined. By contrast, South Indian ghosts are either highly camera-shy, or need to be put on endangered species list.


• Architecturally and geographically speaking: People do continue to live in most deserted places (and live alone or with minimum of servants at that), miles from basic amenities, yet having everything they want. Every single ruin you see has to have a “living” or active ghost. On the other hand, even houses in most crowded part of city do have certain necessities like a hidden dungeon or two stashed below them.


• Jab gidad ki maut aati hai, tab woh akela ghumata hai: However “haunted” a place may be and however terrified the people may be, there is at least one boy or girl who will insist on wandering off alone.


• “Inspired by” not copied: If you recognise the start of any episode as an english ghost (or horror) story you have read earlier, be sure that by the end you will either be questioning your memory, or cursing the mish-mash that is served to you. (Just to give an example, in a recent episode which started very similar to “The Shining” had among other changes, an additional couple which could only have been included to add a pint or two more blood on the sets).


• The Law of Inverse Beauty: Death does not agree with complexion i.e. ghosts of even the most beautiful women or handsome men turn out to be horrible looking (which should keep the beauty-concious among us from becoming ghosts). But, the most horrible looking ghosts turn into most beautiful women or handsome men when needed.


• No publicity: Every single Bollywood-lover worth his/her salt knows that the police are always late. But in horror serials, the police are there only to cart off the bodies even if people insist on dropping dead every two minutes or so (and many times in the same family). Any police officer continuing the inquiry either comes late or becomes “late”. And in today's day and age of satellite channels (with channels insisting on telling news before it happens), the reporters are included only if most if not all of them are in line of death.

- The Great Eagle Has Spoken...


P.S. The article marks (or rather, marked) my debut on Desidabba.

Quote of The Day:

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
- Fred Allen (1894 - 1956)

Technorati Tags: tv shows, horror, humour, lists, top 10, indian, desi

Intrepid Lady Sleuth

No series on detectives will be complete without a review of lady detectives. Or at least, I thought so...



But, when I started searching for lady detectives in Indian fiction, I found a veritable dearth of them. Despite real life examples like Kiran Bedi and reel-life examples like “Udaan” (my recollections of which are very hazy, except that it was a nice serial), lady sleuths in mainstream Indian literature are very rare to find. Of course, so are sleuth's ladies (only Byomkesh' Satyaboti and Bahadur's Bela come to mind), but that's for another article.



That's why there is no plural in the title...

Uma Rao:



Daughter-in-law of the Deputy Commissioner of Police, wife of a Superintendent, Uma Rao is your traditional housewife, or as “traditional” as you can get while being on first name basis with ministers on both sides of marriage. But, when she starts to write her thesis on criminals, it is not just her introduction to criminals, but to sleuthing as well.



When she finds a hijra vehemently denying that he killed one of the members of his community, she decides to help the person she believes is innocent. With the help of a constable from her husband's office, she uncovers the truth behind the murder, in the process finding the roots of crime reaching the highest echelons of Bangalore's society. Flush with her success, she goes on to find the true murderer of a wealthy English Lady (literally), who has come to India to meet her brother who is living in an ashram.



The brother turns out to be a member of Homicide Squad in Britain, and so, when a famous actor (working in a production of “A Midsummer Night's Dream” on Independence Day) disappears and is murdered after reappearing, the British counsel gets the help from Uma Rao, who is watching the play. They find out that the wife of the actor is not the real killer, despite their marriage supposedly being on rocks.



Written by Sahitya Akademi Award-winner Mahesh Dattani, the three plays show us a housewife turning into a sleuth, first only because she wants to help a person whom she assumes to be innocent. Later on, as a famous detective, whose renown reaches even British isles, she turns what initially is a thesis into a quest for her own identity.



Of course, her journey to fame and independence is not without obstacles. She has to venture into the most dangerous districts in the underbelly of Bangalore, face attempts on her life, and since that is not enough, face conflict with her husband who is not so happy with her foray into practical side of crime fighting. But despite that, the “intrepid sleuth” brings the criminals to justice.

As I said before, despite a lot of research I could not find any more lady (or girl) detectives in mainstream Indian literature. Have I forgotten (or not found) anybody?



But, I did find an interesting difference between male and female detectives which is not limited to Indian literature. Men (or the detective stories with main characters as men) don't waste much time on their romantic entanglements or marital descriptions. e.g. Byomkesh is married, but Satyaboti, in spite of being an intelligent lady (which is why Byomkesh is attracted to her in first place) does not merit many lines in his stories (at least, his stories which I have read/seen till now). On the other hand, stories involving lady detectives have a lot more conflict of romantic (or marital) kind, which does tend to hog limelight from crime fighting sometimes, with the main character giving way to her emotions. Why do you think this difference?


- The Great Eagle Has Spoken...


Quote of The Day:





But love is an emotional thing, and whatever is emotional is opposed to that true cold reason which I place above all things.

- Sherlock Holmes (The Sign of Four)

Comical Detectives in India

(and I don't mean comical as in funny)





Try as I may, I cannot find any detectives in Indian comics. I mean, some (all?) of the Feluda stories was made into comics, and Fa Fe found his way into animated format via Tinkle, while we have a plethora of crime-fighters. But there are no detectives solely created for comics.



So , I am going to take this opportunity to talk about some crimefighters who don't really make it into a Superhero grade, but are beyond your normal comics-guy-next-door.

• Bahadur:
  
  
  
  Son of a dacoit, raised by a police officer, Bahadur grew up to be a crime-fighter, with special interest in rehabilitating former dacoits. This he accomplishes with the help of his fiancée (and later wife) Bela, and Lakhan (a reformed dacoit) and his Citizen's Security Force.
  
  
  
  If this sounds a lot like a hindi movie to you, don't worry. Bahadur bears a lot of resemblance to the original angry young man Amitabh Bachchan, as can be seen from his features and his clothes (though he changed from kurta to t-shirt with times).
  
  
  
  While he battles mainly dacoits, he has fought every kind of criminal from common thieves to antiques smugglers to spies and terrorists. In the process, he has done a lot of detective work in uncovering common criminals, finding an ancient treasure in a Rajasthani fort and uncovering the “well of amrit” in a mythical city.
  
  
  
  Of course, if you think the guy who destroys terrorist training camps is not really a detective and hence should not be in this series, hey, I like the guy for being one of the few original comic heroes in India, and I can put him on this list if I want (for lack of any “real” detectives to write about), so sue me...


• Chacha Chaudhary:
  With a “brain faster than computer” and the help of his Jovian friend Sabu and dog Raacket (sorry, that's how it's written in Hindi), Chacha Choudhary has fought many criminals in his life, the chief of them being the accidently-turned-immortal Raaka. But apart from fighting Raaka, he has spent his life fighting crime in every guise.
  
  
  
  Again, this red turban and black jacket clad, white big moustachioed Chacha is not your traditional detective. But then, even though most of his time is spent thinking of new ways to imprison Raaka (who being immortal and super-strengthened now needs new ways to capture him like a cyclone, a magic bottle in the belly of a whale or orbiting the earth in space), a brain faster than computer cannot be wholly occupied with one single task, can it? Of course, Chacha Choudhary does spend some time in solving your normal crimes too.
  
  
  
  I think I should mention at this point that the TV serial, though having Rajpal Yadav as Chacha didn't fulfil my expectations.

Again, as I said, I didn't find any famous black-sunglasses and trench-coat clad detectives made into comic series, so I took chance of plugging a underrated (according to me) hero I like and everybody's favourite uncle.



Do you have a favourite detective I should have mentioned?

- The Great Eagle Has Spoken...


P.S. Want more on Detectives? Check out my "Jasoos Series".



Quote of The Day:



Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.

- Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914), The Devil's Dictionary





Also cross-posted at Desicritics.





Technorati Tags: detectives, India, Bahadur, Chacha Chaudhary

Indian Comics vs English Comics

Now don't get me wrong. I have been brought up on a healthy (some say more than required) dose of “Amar Chitra Katha”s and “Indrajal Comics”[1] and later Tintin and Asterix, among other comics. Even today, I have a normal book-lovers' obsession with comics (and have been teased by not a few of my so called grown-up collegues). What I am trying to say here is that I am a fan of comics and graphic novels. But, recently every time I have read Indian comics, my reactions oscillate between uncontrollable laughter[2] and skin crawling.


But when I think of it objectively, there are not that many differences between Indian comics and their US counterparts[3], apart from an obvious difference between picture and page quality (I don't know why). After all, under it all, Nagraj is a mutant. Super Commando Dhruv and Batman are both products of superior training, and not acquired superpowers. If we had “dhaad” and “sataik”[4] in Hindi comics, we have “pow”s and “biff”s in English ones (and both are equally annoying after a while). If most things in Hindi comics are explained away by “tantravidya”, there is mutation and technology (if not alien intervention) in english ones. So, what exactly is it in Indian comics of today that get my goat whenever I get my hands on them?

To answer this question, I tried to make a list of things which made me irritated in the comics I read recently, and came up with certain points/questions:

1. Errors: Shaolin monks called “ninjas” (collectively, not as name of one of them)? Chinese martial artist carrying nunchucks? I don't know the post-mortem rituals of shaolin monks or ninjas, else I would have said one of the earthquakes near Japan-China border must be caused by generations of ninjas and shaolin monks turning in their graves.
   And at the cost of sounding pedantic[5], I am pretty sure that the environmental conditions on Jupiter will make it impossible to have volcanoes there, much less android life forms. This might come under artistic license and fun, but after a while, it does get under your skin, and makes it impossible to see beyond these glaring mistakes/errors. Is this ignorance or simple misinformation?


2. Unintentional Jokes: When a person is supposed to come to “eastern corner” of a specific geographic feature, can we expect to find a board hammered in ground there proclaiming a particular spot as “Eastern Corner”?
   Should a private plane of a wealthy satellite channel owner in today's day and age be a propeller-driven piece of antiquity? What happened to all jets in India?
   I am pretty sure Hindi is not a language well-suited to communicate action-words. You can separate “biff” on different lines, but cannot have “dh-aa-d” on different lines, can you?


3. Copy: I am aware that US/UK comics are around for quite a long time, and they too get repetitive or sound like copies of each other after you have read them in sufficient quantities. But then, so many ideas in Indian comics sound like obvious copies of other comics (a league of superheroes in particular country is one such idea) that they get irritating pretty quick.

And don't even get me started on Indian Superheroes on television.

Of course, this is not an exhaustive list by any means, and is a list of my opinions after all. Do you think I have missed any points? Have I misinterpreted/misrepresented anything? What do you think about Indian comics and superheroes?



Footnotes:
[1](remember Phantom, Mandrake, Flash Gordon and Bahadur?
[2]After all, there is a “comic” in comics.
[3]I haven't been exposed to many comics from other countries, that's why.
[4]Can't spell it any other way, can I?
[5]Who said geeky?

Quote of The Day:

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
- Albert Einstein

Fa Fe

Marathi has had its share of paperback detectives and kid detectives, but probably the most famous of all Marathi detectives is a kid, who goes by the name of “Faster Fene”. If English children had their “Secret Seven”s and “Famous Five”s (about whom we learnt later), more than one generation of Marathi kids had our one and only Fa Fe (as he is popularly known among the fans), who was match for all and then some.



No kidding guys, your favourite “Detectives” series is back, this time with a kid detective.





Faster Fene

Banesh Fene, born and brought up in Fursungi (a small village near Pune), was christened “Faster Fene”, when he (on his trusty bicycle) left behind a rich, spoiled kid while racing across the length and breadth of Pune to gain the last seat in a prestigious school. This nickname was later proven worthy many times over when he bested criminals, spies, ghosts and much more, in terms of speed and brains.



Apart from Tintin, this kid must be the most travelled of them all. He has travelled to almost all corners of India, solving mysteries and defeating criminals, while still in school. Gifted with intelligence, quick wit and bravery, he has an uncanny knack of attracting trouble. So, when visiting Mumbai, he gets attached to a runaway blimp and lands in the midst of smuggled goods. When visiting Kashmir, his visit turns up more terrorists than tourist spots, and when the India-China war is on, running off to fight on the front, he manages to be caught by enemy and escapes with their plans.



So why did I include this adventurer as a detective? Because in his illustrious career, he has caught a Chinese spy in Pune (Pune was and continues to remain one of the most important military stations in India), uncovered the mystery of a ghost in an oil-well in Gujrat, helped authorities to track and catch many criminals and smugglers and tracked a treasure or two, while he was still in school. He was aided by his cousin and a lot of school-mates (with whom he became pretty famous after his “entry” in school).



Written by Bha. Ra. Bhagwat (a Marathi author, famous for his adventure novels for kids), the stories have their fair share of adventure, mystery, improbable escapes at the last moment, scary and/or bumbling villains... in short, all the ingredients that make a nice adventure series (though the action might get repetitive at times, this being a series of novels). Written for kids, the stories have their fair share of wit and humour to occupy even the adults. The series was originally written in 60's, with India-China war providing the backdrop for more than one novel. It was later converted into a TV series in 80's.



With his intelligence, bravery and wit, Fa Fe has enthralled more than a generation of Marathi kids. In fact, I think I can safely say that almost every kid I knew in school had dreams of being this lanky kid (with bones protruding out of his skinny legs and hands) with his chequered-shirt and half-pant (a dress he was rarely seen without, even when he dropped on the border with a parachute), flying on his bicycle, outwitting his (and of course, country's) foes.

Coming up: Detectives in Indian Comics (Well, crime-fighters if you want)





Quote of The Day:



The test of the morality of a society is what it does for its children.

- Dietrich Bonhoeffer







Technorati Tags: detectives, fiction, marathi, kids