For last few months, we at the Aerie Institute have been waiting for some enterprising company to pick up a brilliant business idea which has been making regular news. Unfortunately, either due to recession, or some other reason, nobody has picked up on it. So, we thought, why not us?
Imagine the scenario: you are sitting in a press conference given by a Famous Person, and fuming at the way things are going in there. You want to vent, but almost everything a journalist has at hand (including the journalist himself) makes for a very poor projectile weapon. And before you know it, you are suddenly walking unbalanced, with just one shoe on.
That’s why, we are proud to present: Feko Shoe.
Each Feko shoe is manufactured with carefully tested toe to heel ratio, and extensively researched aerodynamic profile which give it the best flight characteristics. Studies have shown Feko shoes get 80% more range and 50% more accuracy than normal shoes*.
Another disturbing trend can be noticed in the news: none of the shoes in the news have hit the target. Which is why there is Feko Premium, armed with “Throw and Forget TM” technology. With one flick of a switch, the Feko Premium will hit the speaker with unerring accuracy. The target can be locked on manually quite easily (so that you don’t end up standing up with a shoe in your hand, looking like an idiot), or the automatic targeting system will take over in case there is no manual input. Want to vent, but don’t want violence? No worries. Just turn the switch to “Miss” and the shoe will miss the target very closely, no matter what.
Both the standard and premium versions come in easy to carry collapsed form, which can be easily popped up into action readiness. After all, you don’t want to carry a shoe box with you everywhere, do you now? Plus, the faux leather material is completely bio-degradable, making the shoe quite environment friendly.
As a buyer of Feko Shoe, you also get a chance to enroll in our Shoe Throwing training, where experts from military and sports field will teach you to be the perfect shoe thrower. Our instructors may not have thrown any shoes, but believe us, they have accurately chucked quite a few solid objects at their targets in their career.
Please note the singular in all the paragraphs before. After all, with Feko, you don’t need to carry a backup to get your point across.
But for the cautious and overzealous amongst you, as a limited time offer, every Feko Premium purchase gives you a 50% discount on another Feko Premium. Having a pair is always better than a single shoe. Who knows, you may want to wear them at some point of time for some reason.
- The Great Eagle Has Spoken
P.S. Don’t forget to check out our “Shoe Avoidance Force Filed” products. After all, that Feko shoe is going to make you into a Famous Person.
* Under test conditions