History, Politics and Logic

Since I am quite ignorant when it comes to worldly affairs, I often find myself applying logic to the news I read, trying to make some sense out of them. Some news cycles I read over the last year are a proof positive that human brain can still function after logic attacks.

Here’s what happened:

Sometime last year, Government of India submitted an affidavit to Supreme Court which said that they could not find any proof that Ram existed, ergo, Ram didn’t really exist. After many protests and a huge outcry, they realized that Ram did, indeed, exist.

Conclusion: In a democracy, vox populi = proof of existence

But then, that proof did come in the way of the Ramsetu project, which was really the reason for all the controversy. So, after a lot of research, GoI found out a mention that Ram destroyed the setu himself, based on the Kamba Ramayan written by Tamil poet Kamban. So the structure popularly known as Ramsetu cannot be the real Ramsetu. (Since Ram returned to Ayodhya by Pushpak, this may well be one of the first records of aerial bombardment.)

Conclusion: A mention in any of the records available = proof

This year, after 15 years of Dadoji Konddev Puraskar, Maharashtra Government scrapped the award since the committee assembled did not find any proof (sorry, the link is in Marathi) that he was the teacher of Chhatrapati Shivaji.

Conclusion: vox committee = proof of absence (?)

After notable historians removed themselves from the committee, it was noted that the 17th century records at the time of Shivaji did not mention Dadoji Konddev’s role as his teacher, and the first record is the Sabhasadachi Bakhar, written during 18th century.

Conclusion: Contemporary records = proof (?)

My brain, trained by Sherlock Holmes, detected a logical fallacy here somewhere. And since such fallacies tend to keep me awake at night, I decided to solve this conundrum.

After a lot of research, I have come to the conclusion that one of the following is the missing assumption for all of the above statements to be true (I always did well on those “Find the missing assumption” questions in competitive exams):

1. Kamban was a contemporary of Ram, thus possibly predating Valmiki.


2. Our school board was not looking for just convenient curricular structure when they combined History and Civics (with detailed descriptions of Indian political scenario) together in one subject.

Got any other explanation?


- The Great Eagle Has Spoken

Sultan ka hukum...

sar-aankhon par.

Since I haven't written a post in a long time, and given my current task list, it looks hard I will finish the drafts any time soon, I think it is time I get the tag by Her Highness Sultaan-e-Pitustan Pitu done.

So, here it is:

1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
   - You know what they say, if you love somebody, let them go. Especially if that person betrays you. Serves her right…


2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
   - Chaand tare tod lau,
   saari duniya par mein chhaoon,
   Bas etna sa khwab hai…
   See, I don't require too much to be happy in life.


3. What do you love the most in your lover?
   - Paraphrasing Holmes, it is a capital mistake to theorize before you have the necessary experience.


4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
   - Create a library. Build a time machine. Build this and get rid of commuting hassles. (Given current conditions, investment is out of answer)


5. Will you fall in love with your best friend?
   - Given that all three of my best friends are guys, I would have to go with “No”.


6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
   - If loving someone was blessed, my friend is the most blessed man on this earth, at any and all given times.


7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
   - Given my time-keeping skills, there is higher possibility that she has to wait for me. Though not more than 15 minutes at a time, given my record.


8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
   - I like keeping secrets. Especially if they are mine.


9. If you like to act with someone, who will it be? Your gf/bf or an actress/actor?
   - Why would I be acting with my girlfriend?
   Oh you mean like in a film or a drama. In that case, why would I be acting with my girlfriend?


10. What takes you down the fastest?
    - Elevator (The elevator in my office is so impatient to get going that it sometimes doesn’t wait for the doors to close).
    There are faster ways down, but not being a cartoon character, I am weary of trying one.


11. How would you see yourself in ten years’ time?
    - In a mirror. In a picture (on back of my book). On my blog. Take your pick.


12. What’s your fear?
    - Snakes. In all shapes and sizes. And all forms.


13. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
    - Ab Sultan ki tarif mein hum kya kahein? I am speechless.


14. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?
    - Why would I be rich and single? Are we talking about the same person (i.e. me) here?


15. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?
    - Check my cellphone and smile that the alarm hasn’t gone off yet, and then burrow back inside the comforter.


16. Would you give all in a relationship?
    - Refer #3. (I love this “refer” business).


17. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?
    - Do tell me none of the people are the one in #8. In which case, I like choices. If not, there is really no choice, is there?


18. Would you forgive and forget, no matter how horrible a thing that special someone has done?
    - Do I need to answer about forgiving after #1? And… what was the question again?


19. If you get to go back in time and fall in love all over again, would it still be with the same person?
    - Sorry, wrong setting on time machine. Change the polarity.

List 6 people to tag:

RULE #1: Tag 6 people to do this quiz and they cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by, cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by, and must continue this game by sending it to other people.

RULE #2: People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

So, the list goes on:
1. Cuckoo
2. Sid (Haven't been posting anything either)
3. DewdropDream (I hate to do it, but she has to know disadvantages of reading my blog)
4. Princess Stephania
5. First person to comment on this post
6. Anybody who wants to take it up

Please feel free to be as political as you want on #13.

And there... a new post is done.


- The Great Eagle Has Spoken

Anatomy of a Bond Novel

I know I have written the "Anatomy of a Spy Novel" before, but James Bond holds a special place amongst all the spies of literary world. And that is why I thought I needed to go into more detail of a standard Bond novel.

Statutory warning for the movie lovers who want to read the novel: Don’t start reading a book thinking you know the story. You will be surprised.

Statutory warning for the readers who want to watch the movie: Don’t start watching a movie thinking you know the story. You will be shocked.

Don’t believe me? Here’s an example: During the course of Moonraker, the movie, Bond meets three women and gets to sleep with two of them. During the course of Moonraker, the novel, Bond meets one woman and gets to sleep with… none. (Come to think of it, same difference, right?)

You have been warned.

So, here’s how the story goes: Bond, who is usually bored going through the reading material, is called in M’s office and given his assignment. Happy to be out of his office, Bond sets off for his destination, and meets his contact. And then come the three must-haves in any Bond story:

1. The "Bond Girl": Invariably, Bond’s contact/handler or one of his associates is a woman. At first, Bond is apprehensive about her involvement, but she proves to be very competent girl, capable of taking care of herself (Yes, Bond is quite a chauvinist). We all know where that is heading…


2. A card game: Since Bond is “professionally” trained in various ways in which one can “win” at any card game (and hence, a card-game enthusiast), any and all of his “cases” must involve a card game of some type. It may be his assignment (Casino Royale), a part of it (Diamonds are Forever) or a precursor to it (Moonraker).
   Of course, any game will put him on the brink of bankruptcy, before a brilliant play will see him win.


3. A car chase: Some time in the case, mostly towards the end of it, Bond will find himself involved in a big bad car chase. It may be because the enemy has kidnapped his girl (in which case Bond is the chaser), or because enemy is onto him (in which case he is the chased), during which time he might destroy a car or two.
   Of course, unlike the card game, car chase is not exactly Bond’s strong suite. So at the end of it, Bond is firmly in the hands of his enemy, who will then proceed to tie, beat and torture him.

…which of course sets him up for the climax, where with the help of his girl (and possibly some others,) the battered and bruised Bond is going to save the world, before going off into the sunset with his love. And if he has to destroy a submarine or two or a train or some cars for that, that’s not so difficult for our 007, is it now?

And that, my dear friends, is how Bond... James Bond works.

Now, where's my Vesper?


- The Great Eagle Has Spoken

If Harry Potter played Cricket

Or rather, the opposite.

A recent conversation about Harry Potter and cricket*, I realised that there were quite a few similarities between Indian cricket team and Harry Potter world. I am pretty sure there is a HP-inspired movie hidden somewhere here.

And the casting is:

• The Boy Who Lived – a.k.a. The batsman who stands at one end, while wickets keep falling “like bicycles in bicycle-stand” on the other end. Did you get flashes of a stormy evening at Sharjah (amongst others)? Then again, Harry does spend equal time being revered and hated in the books, so there's one more point matched.


• Albus Dumbledore – my first thought was this was a role custom-made for John Wright. But then, there is past individual performance to be considered, so apne Kapilpraaji or Sunil Gavaskar will fit this role better.


• Severus Snape – A person who almost everybody hates, but there are some who will always root for him. In the end, does he come through or not? But he is powerful, babumoshoy.


• Rubeus Hagrid – A reliable person. May make mistakes, but will usually come through in a pinch. Always standing in the background, some might say like a Wall.


• Fred and George Weasley – The terrible twins. Not the most perfect technique, but effective enough for all. Extremely flamboyant, and have got a way with ladies. If you need more clues, don't forget that incident with the girl (note the singular) in post office.


• Colin Creevy – There is only one “kid” in recent years, and he is not exactly a genius.

Now, the roles of Lord Voldemort and his Death Eaters depend on the opposing team, so the actors playing them change often enough. But one role is perfect match:

• Draco Malfoy – Spoiled rich kid, too full of himself and his status. Just wears the green cap, instead of green robes, in the Muggle world.

On that note, am I the only one who thinks that it is not a coincidence that Slytherin students wear baggy green?


I know the casting isn't perfect. There are some roles which are yet to be cast, and I have overlooked more than a few characteristics for matching the roles with the men. Then again, you may disagree with some of this, and may want to change the roles.

But hey, my blog, my post... suggestions welcome.

So, any takers for this Harry Potter-meets-Lagaan(-meets-Chak De?) extravaganza?



- The Great Eagle Has Spoken

* While I was commenting on Amrita's post on “Hari Putter” controversy, there was a curious confusion between Abra ka dabra and Chain Kulli ki Main Kulli. While clearing this confusion, I started commenting on the similarities between Indian cricket team and Harry Potter world. And as usual, I converted the comment into a post.

3 Days in the life of a Nation of 1.1 billion

3rd August: Vishwanathan Anand wins Rapid World Chess Championship at Mainz...

marking the 11th title (9th consecutive) in the 13 year history of the tournament. He also broke his 38-2 record of simultaneous play by conceding only 2 draws in 40-player simultaneous display. The World No. 1 (since April 2007) will be defending his title later this year.

11th August: Abhinav Bindra wins Gold Medal in 10 meters air rifle event in Beijing 2008...

and becomes the first individual gold medalist for India. The whole nation celebrates, with a frenzy of congratulations and self-congratulations erupting all over the place. A competition starts between various state and local governments to declare prize money for the winner. The sales of guns hit a all-time high.

15th August: Independent India turns 61...

wishing Anand's successor will come from the land where Chess was born, and at least one gun in thousands bought within this week will bring another medal in future. Among some spectacular and some disappointing performances, 3 Indian boxers reach the quarterfinals in Beijing'08, keeping alive the hopes of another medal.

But many people know that most (if not all) guns bought this week will be lying around gathering dust once T20 starts in December, or even next month, with the Champions Trophy. The rest will be searching for facilities which face lack of monetary and other support.

And only a quiet minority will be monitoring the news when Anand goes into his third year as undisputed World Champion.

But for now: Congratulations Anand for the continuing winning streak! Congratulations Abhinav for your well-deserved Gold Medal! Congratulations India for turning 61, and for all these achievements! We will be waiting next time around to celebrate all your achievements once again.


- The Great Eagle Has Spoken