If Harry Potter played Cricket

Or rather, the opposite.

A recent conversation about Harry Potter and cricket*, I realised that there were quite a few similarities between Indian cricket team and Harry Potter world. I am pretty sure there is a HP-inspired movie hidden somewhere here.

And the casting is:

• The Boy Who Lived – a.k.a. The batsman who stands at one end, while wickets keep falling “like bicycles in bicycle-stand” on the other end. Did you get flashes of a stormy evening at Sharjah (amongst others)? Then again, Harry does spend equal time being revered and hated in the books, so there's one more point matched.


• Albus Dumbledore – my first thought was this was a role custom-made for John Wright. But then, there is past individual performance to be considered, so apne Kapilpraaji or Sunil Gavaskar will fit this role better.


• Severus Snape – A person who almost everybody hates, but there are some who will always root for him. In the end, does he come through or not? But he is powerful, babumoshoy.


• Rubeus Hagrid – A reliable person. May make mistakes, but will usually come through in a pinch. Always standing in the background, some might say like a Wall.


• Fred and George Weasley – The terrible twins. Not the most perfect technique, but effective enough for all. Extremely flamboyant, and have got a way with ladies. If you need more clues, don't forget that incident with the girl (note the singular) in post office.


• Colin Creevy – There is only one “kid” in recent years, and he is not exactly a genius.

Now, the roles of Lord Voldemort and his Death Eaters depend on the opposing team, so the actors playing them change often enough. But one role is perfect match:

• Draco Malfoy – Spoiled rich kid, too full of himself and his status. Just wears the green cap, instead of green robes, in the Muggle world.

On that note, am I the only one who thinks that it is not a coincidence that Slytherin students wear baggy green?


I know the casting isn't perfect. There are some roles which are yet to be cast, and I have overlooked more than a few characteristics for matching the roles with the men. Then again, you may disagree with some of this, and may want to change the roles.

But hey, my blog, my post... suggestions welcome.

So, any takers for this Harry Potter-meets-Lagaan(-meets-Chak De?) extravaganza?



- The Great Eagle Has Spoken

* While I was commenting on Amrita's post on “Hari Putter” controversy, there was a curious confusion between Abra ka dabra and Chain Kulli ki Main Kulli. While clearing this confusion, I started commenting on the similarities between Indian cricket team and Harry Potter world. And as usual, I converted the comment into a post.

3 Days in the life of a Nation of 1.1 billion

3rd August: Vishwanathan Anand wins Rapid World Chess Championship at Mainz...

marking the 11th title (9th consecutive) in the 13 year history of the tournament. He also broke his 38-2 record of simultaneous play by conceding only 2 draws in 40-player simultaneous display. The World No. 1 (since April 2007) will be defending his title later this year.

11th August: Abhinav Bindra wins Gold Medal in 10 meters air rifle event in Beijing 2008...

and becomes the first individual gold medalist for India. The whole nation celebrates, with a frenzy of congratulations and self-congratulations erupting all over the place. A competition starts between various state and local governments to declare prize money for the winner. The sales of guns hit a all-time high.

15th August: Independent India turns 61...

wishing Anand's successor will come from the land where Chess was born, and at least one gun in thousands bought within this week will bring another medal in future. Among some spectacular and some disappointing performances, 3 Indian boxers reach the quarterfinals in Beijing'08, keeping alive the hopes of another medal.

But many people know that most (if not all) guns bought this week will be lying around gathering dust once T20 starts in December, or even next month, with the Champions Trophy. The rest will be searching for facilities which face lack of monetary and other support.

And only a quiet minority will be monitoring the news when Anand goes into his third year as undisputed World Champion.

But for now: Congratulations Anand for the continuing winning streak! Congratulations Abhinav for your well-deserved Gold Medal! Congratulations India for turning 61, and for all these achievements! We will be waiting next time around to celebrate all your achievements once again.


- The Great Eagle Has Spoken

Are you kidding me?

Statutory Warning: This is going to be complete rant. If you don't want to get into a royal funk, you can skip to the photos at the end.

I am assuming all the people reading this love to read rants, so here goes:

Search for "Indian Government + State Funeral" on Google, and you will get two results at the top, about Ishmeet Singh and Field Marshal Sam Manekshaw. Look at the wording in those news now, and you will know who gets the honour in India. The honour is limited to "public figures", which of course includes people in government, influential leaders, and apparently, winners of reality shows*. But evidently, you have to make an exception, sorry, a "rare" exception for India's first Field Marshal, a man who won a war which created a nation, a man who is a national Hero in his own right.

Oh, and the Defence Minister was not able to make it due to "long flight followed by journey by road". You think the family of the deceased should have had more sense to have the funeral in a more accessible place, don't you?

And while we are on the topic of Indian Armed Forces, did any of you remember that 26th July was Vijay Divas? Nobody? Don't beat yourself up, neither did our Government.

And we wonder why there is a dearth of officers in Indian Army**.

On a positive note, I have changed my opinions about the new and improved Mahabharat. I didn't know it would prove to be such a veritable nail-biter, not to mention a great source of knowledge. I mean, how else would we have known that the "son" Satyavati proposes to use to continue the Kuru lineage is Ved Vyasa and not Bhishma? And in the recent episode, I was completely sure that the God had pulled a fast one on Kansa by talking about Devaki's 8th son, when it was clearly a daughter. Luckily Vasudev cleared that mystery up, otherwise the suspense was killing me.


Now that I have put you in a very bad mood, here's something to make you happy. There's something for everybody in there:





And don't worry about me. Reading Spanish novels on top of everything else does this to me sometimes. Not to mention, the database and the server refuse to start properly, thereby dashing all my hopes of getting any work done today. I will be back to my regular self soon.


- The Great Eagle Has Spoken

* I haven't heard Ishmeet Singh sing and don't know much about him or his life, and I am not commenting whether he is worthy of the honour or not.
** I am completely aware of my status as armchair critic in this matter. I know that my only connection with Armed Forces is some cousins and friends serving in different branches, and the closest I have come to the service is 2 years stint in NCC. So don't send me any comments saying "if you feel like this, you should join army". The point here is not that.

Shri Mahabharat Katha - FAQ

Given our expertise on the subject, it is not surprising that our mailbox has been flooded by people wanting to understand the Kahani of Mahabharat. So we thought it better to answer the most common questions here instead of in private e-mails.

After all, answering questions is beneficial to your fame.

In episode one, etna andhera kyoon hai bhai? (Why so dark?)

First off, it is night. Secondly, they are sitting in a courtyard, thereby diffusing the available light even further.

And they have just proved our theories about ancient lighting systems. How? If you see closely, there is hardly anybody who is wearing full reflective golden jewellery.

In episode two, why did the Mushaka kept flying through the forest? Especially when he knew that he could fly just above or just to the right and avoid the trees altogether?

Any pilot worth his tail(fin) knows that the “nape of the earth” approach means that you fly almost at treetop level, and not below the tree line.

Now by this time the Mushaka should have enough practise to judge the correct flight path for the weight on his back, and avoid flying through the same forest twice. Also, looking at how irritated Ganesh looked trying to get all the branches and leaves out of his face, this is one giant mouse who is due for a major dressing down, if not for a pink slip.

Are we about to see 360 degree shots starting from multiple angles with the name of the character said over and over again every time a new character is introduced? And even later whenever the character is on the screen? (Who knew Ganga had so many names, or rather, adjectives)

Well, at least 50% of the viewers (the men who watch saas-bahu serials balancing the numbers for the women who don't) see most of the actors as completely unrelated, and in many cases, completely opposite characters if they just change the channel. So, it is understandable that they want to make sure everybody recognizes a character from every possible angle (kind of like when you get 360 degree views of cellphones or cars on websites).

And they have to hammer name in our heads enough times for the same reason. So many times in fact, that you are almost forced to ask like Raabert, "etane saare naam? baaki log kidhar hain?" (So many names? Where are other people?)

Plus, it helps in keeping the plot of an episode within two lines. And have you forgotten the 90-10 rule of mythological serials?

Since Ganesh, being a God of Knowledge, is omniscient, why didn't he just know what Vyasa was going to tell him? In short, why didn't he write the story himself?

This particular question deserves a whole chapter in our upcoming book on Mahabharata. But in short, Vyasa is known as “Adya Kavi” (the First Poet). Given modern poetry, do you think it is so surprising that even the God of Knowledge, in his infinite wisdom, does not understand poetry?

What kind of wolf did Devavrata kill?

Aah... contrary to popular belief, it was a Himalayan Wolf, and not Gray Wolf (a species commonly found near Greece till it was endangered by the Spartans).



Keep them coming folks. We live but to serve...



- The Great Eagle Has Spoken


Technorati tags: mahabharat, indian television, tv shows

Kissa Cricket Ka Part IV

While Gully Cricket awaits ICC approval (hey, the same number of people watch Gully Cricket as do Ranji), there is another form of cricket which has long gone unacknowledged. But perhaps that is fitting, since the main purpose of Book Cricket was to entertain students who had to sit through boring classes, while still looking as “study” to watchful teachers (Underground Cricket, if you will).

For those who don’t know, the rules and format are pretty simple. Take any book, the bigger the better (though smaller books had their own advantages. Read on). The “batsman” will open the book to a random page, and the “score” is based on the LSD of the even page number. 2, 4 and 6 are self-explanatory. 0 is “out” (no dot-balls allowed). 8 had many interpretations, from 8 runs for general players, to a single or no-run for seasoned veterans. Given the running between the wickets of Indian batsmen in that time, we didn’t need anything for 3 runs.

The zero-preparation and easy format allowed matches of all flavour (from ODI to Test to OPI – One Period International), played between bench-mates, or between benches. And as in the normal form of game, heroes (and some villains) emerged. Some “players” had such absolute run of luck that they were responsible for making some of our friends' loss of faith in so-called Probability, while others tried to restore that belief and the "cosmic balance".

And then, there were those who could emulate Bradman by getting exact score they wanted, with a skill which would impress even the best card-sharps in town. (You see kids, getting to know your text-books better is good for you). I can tell you some tales of a well-thumbed mathematics book (what? I like Maths. Anybody got problem with that?), with page number 10… well, let’s wait for those anti-match-fixing guys to go out of earshot, shall we?

The epic battles which raged in class included some ultra-low scores, with some runs thrown in between a string of 0's to avoid suspicion, and/or soothe our conscious. They also included some extra-high scores, particularly one innings, where the luck favoured us so much that the opening batsmen had scored more individually than Kambli-Tendulkar pair in their record partnership, before the bell rang. Before that, the opposing team had collapsed to a measly 17/10.

Thus, Book Cricket (along with pencil-football, and a form of pencil-battle), carried us across many a school days, while our teachers tried to make us understand that “energy crisis is over” or something like that. For those who haven’t played it yet, you can’t compare a well-played game of Book Cricket. Go open your books and start scoring.

And what reminded me of these happy times today? This match came straight out of BC, played on “home ground”, by people who were feeling particularly vicious about one team in the game.



- The Great Eagle Has Spoken

P.S. Click here for parts I, II and III in the series.