Friday, February 13, 2009

Fount of Knowledge Part VIII

a.k.a. Colour me pink and call me bunny.

On second thoughts, don’t do anything I said in prev. para. Let me try and start again.


These are tough economic times. What with layoffs and hiring freezes, everybody is looking for that golden bullet: The Evergreen Industry. Why, even our old choice career is facing hard times given the emergence of online protest petitions. So we thought it was time to once again bring you The Career of The Future.

By now, everybody who can read (or watch TV) knows about the Mangalore incident, and its aftermath. As a result, one group is sending pink undergarments to another, another is sending pink under-overgarments to someplace else, and somebody else is sending pink garments to the first group.

See the pattern there? No, not the opportunities in courier industry, although that’s not a bad observation.

Want a recession-proof career? Go manufacture the colour pink.

I mean, the events of last few days must have caused a national shortage the colour, and here’s your opportunity to grab the market given the huge demand. After all, whatever the choice of goods flying across the country right now, they are pink coloured.

And I am not just talking about pink-coloured cloth here. I am talking about the basic colour. The colour which will be used for clothes, plastics, paper (I doubt pink slips are going out of fashion soon), sweets and other edibles, even for painting your house (think big, think Jaipur)… the uses are unlimited. Oh, and before I forget, cars.

Think it is just one time boom? Well, the valentine’s day is just round the corner. Branch out a bit in red colour, and you have the entire V-Day market captured. Seriously, you cannot see any other colour for that entire week, unless of course, you are colour-blind.

Still think one/two weeks per year is too small a window? Well then, 50% of the world’s population is female. 50% of those are girls (or think they are girls), and are into all things pink. Can you think of a bigger market?

I thought so.

So go forth and paint the world pink.


- The Great Eagle Has Spoken


P.S. Previously on Fount of Knowledge: Part I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VI.V and VII.

P.P.S. Suddenly, the “pink cars” poster I linked is very hard to find on Google. Seems like somebody, lets call him/her AB(C?), is going around deleting the pictures from the internet. I smell conspiracy.

Monday, February 02, 2009

Can you hear the Music of Love?

We at the Aerie Institute have a long history of helping the souls in search of love. Now, with singles all over the world facing the spectre of looking forward to another Valentine’s Day, we thought we should help you out once more.

Previously, we have brought you gems like A Guide to First Date, A Single Guy’s Guide to 14th February. So you already know what to do once you get That Girl you’ve always dreamt of. But the process of love starts well before that.

It is well known to all the Hindi movie-watchers that you fall in love at first glance. It is further established, that when you first look at The One Made For You, divine music starts playing. After all, you need some sign to recognize a single person from billions, right?

So you spend all your life searching, and one day it happens. Suddenly, a vision from heaven steps in front of you. Your can’t see anything except her, and she is rendered in soft focus (even though your glasses are smudge-free). An orchestra starts playing (but you are not in a theatre), and you just know she is The One.

Or is she? Before you jump to conclusions, you have to make sure that you are not going to be a target for #7 sandal with heels.

So, take a step back, and follow this fool proof formula brought to you by the researchers at Aerie, after extensive testing. Given the profession/inclination of most of the users, the method is presented as a simple-to-follow flowchart. Follow these steps before you do anything (click to enlarge):


Did you reach the F14? Congratulations, you may just have found the Love of Your Life. Now check if the girl still there. That means one of these 2 things:

  1. She also likes you, and is waiting for you to go to her.
  2. She is following the abovem. steps. Wait for her to finish.


For What to do do next, keep watching this space… Till next time


- The Great Eagle Has Spoken


P.S. The genders in this post can be changed as needed.